Blissful Sin
by Sakura Takashima
Summary: Set after the death of Dumbledore. Written with three keywords in mind: Holding out, Sin and Owl.  One Shot.   Harry goes outside to have a moment on his own, on his weakest moment Draco finds him.  Summary is horrible sorry


**Blissful sin**

It was a cold day at Hogwarts. The halls were so cold that the students would've sworn that Dementors were hiding in the dark corners. But this was not true at all.

The ice-cold winter was almost like a foreboder of the War that was steadily creeping closer. The war that would soon enough not only endanger the wizarding world but also the muggle world, the war that could destroy everything.

The students stared at their tables as they sat in the Great Hall since Professor McGonagall had asked for a respectful moment of silence to grief for the death of their fallen headmaster. Most of them could barely believe that it had actually happened, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was dead.

Among the students Harry Potter sat staring at his fingers. He was burning on the inside with hatred and anger. He closed his eyes and saw the scenery flash in front of him again.

_Draco Lucius Malfoy stood in front of the old wizard, his wand pointed at his face as he tried to stay calm. But Dumbledore's words tore him down and Harry had realized that Draco had been near his breaking-point when Bellatrix Lestrange showed up all of a sudden. More Death Eaters joined them as Bellatrix was trying to talk Draco into firing the fatal spell. He had seen Snape at the stairs, motioning him to be silent as he held his wand up before walking up the stairs, joining the Death Eaters. He had stopped Draco and pointed his own wand at Dumbledore in such a quick and swift way that Harry had never seen it coming. The green light had lit up the Astronomy Tower and had made Harry and Draco freeze in a moment of shared shock._

Harry opened his eyes when he felt a warm hand on his own. He looked up and saw Ginny look at him with a worried look on her face. He bit his lip briefly and then shrugged, as if to say he was alright. But he wasn't. He would never be alright again.

A soft murmur broke the silence and the Great Hall was slowly filled with sounds of students chatting.

It was on that very moment that Harry stood up from the Gryffindor table and glanced at his friends. They looked at him and nodded briefly in mutual understanding and with that Harry turned and left the Great Hall and the sounds of chatting students. He stood still in the Entrance Hall and looked at the staircase for a moment. He contemplated to go up to his dorms and just go to bed but he shrugged off that idea and quickly turned away from the staircase before heading outside.

The cold air engulfed Harry and made him shiver. He took a deep breath and started to walk again, he did not quite know where he was going but he just had to get away from the castle, away from the students and teachers, away from the memories of the Tower.

Harry's feet took him away until he noticed the first trees of the Dark Forest. His eyes narrowed and he let out a slow and angry growl. He hated this forest just as much as the Tower damn it! He cried out in anger and frustration as he punched one of the trees. Just a moment later the young wizard sunk onto his knees and broke down in loud sobs.

He just didn't get why this all had to happen. It was driving him insane.

oOo

oOo

Draco had been out in the Forbidden Forest for hours. He had hidden himself between a tree and a few bushes in hope nobody would find him for a while. He needed space, needed time, and Snape had understood that. He was so thankful at times that Snape had been there to help him out. The pressure of the Death Eaters had been consuming him and he hated being this vulnerable and full of doubts.

The young Slytherin stared at his hands, realized they were still shaking. He had just wanted to curse when he heard a growl coming from the edge of the forest. His eyes shot up and he gazed around, alarmed by this sound. He didn't feel like being eaten by some sort of beast while he was out here. He stared at the scene before him.

Harry Potter was crying out like an animal as he punched a tree before breaking down!

Draco could not believe this, Harry Potter, The Boy-Who-Lived, The Chosen One, The Golden Boy of Gryffindor, was _crying_!

Before Draco realized what he was doing, the young man that gotten up and started to make his way over to Harry. He closed the space between him and the unknowing Gryffindor with a slightly nervous feeling inside him. Something he had felt before but had thoroughly ignored until this very moment.

Harry did not look up from his sobs and Draco considered that perhaps he had not noticed the blonde closing in on him.

"Harry …"

The head snapped up, green eyes wide with terror as the wizard realized who was standing in front of him. With the help of his Seeker responses Harry got up and pulled out his wand, pointing it directly at Draco's heart.

Draco swallowed and took a step back, surprised by his own and Harry's actions. He realized that walking over to Harry was probably the worse idea he had ever had. "I'm unarmed." He whispered to the other, in an attempt to clear a bit of the tension that was nearly visible between them. He even raised his hands in the air to prove his point that he was not going to curse the other.

Harry eyed Draco suspiciously. "And why should I believe you Malfoy?" He asked with a sneer. He no longer remembered that Draco had been breaking in front of the Headmaster, all he remembered now were the taunts and the bullying.

Draco cast his eyes down and thought for a moment before taking out his wand and holding it out to Harry, handle first. "If it proves my point, then take it."

The Gryffindor stared at Draco. Was the other wizard actually offering to give him his wand, just to prove that he wouldn't curse Harry? What the hell was wrong with Malfoy?

Draco sighed and bend down, putting his wand down on the ground before standing up again. "Since you won't take it, I hope this is proof enough ..." Draco had his eyes on Harry but he blinked when he saw a shape approach them fast through the air. It took him a moment to realize that it was actually one of the Malfoy eagle owls.

The owl landed swiftly on a branch of a tree and gazed at Draco.

Draco stared back and then noticed the tiny note tied to the owl's leg. He took it off and recognized the elegant handwriting of his mother. He didn't know why she would be owling him now so he supposed it was an urgent thing. He read the note and froze when his eyes reached the last word.

Harry had been keeping in eye on both the owl and Draco as the young man had taken the note and read it. He had seen that the other had suddenly seemed paralyzed, as if he had been hit by a Stunning Spell but could not fall over or something. "Malfoy, snap out of it!"

At the sound of Harry's voice Draco's head shot up. He looked at the green eyed wizard before him and shrugged. "What's it to you Potter?"

Harry grinned when he heard the sneering tone in Draco's voice again, finally the real Draco Malfoy had returned! "Well if that small note upsets you so much, then it must mean something big happened right?"

Draco seemed to hesitate for a moment but then slowly nodded. "True, something big has happened." He looked around, as if to make sure they were alone and then held out the note to Harry.

The Gryffindor took the note and read it, frowning:

_Dear Draco,_

_I thought you would like to know that your father is free again. He wants to see you as soon as you get home from school._

_N.M._

Harry took a deep breath. "Well, I suppose you're happy now?"

Draco shook his head and shrugged. "Why should I be happy about that?"

Harry frowned. "Perhaps because he's your father ... I really thought you'd be happy to know he's free again."

The Malfoy laughed. But unlike normally this laugh wasn't cold, it was soft but yet so sad. So damn sad. "I don't even remember when I felt happy for the last time Potter, so why should I be happy about a puppeteer returning to his stage?"

The words Draco had used caught Harry off guard. Did Draco really think about his father that way? Sure, Lucius Malfoy was a horrible man, but surely he was a better fathe- Harry broke off that thought. He had seen how Lucius was to Draco in public, and honestly he couldn't imagine the man being nicer to his son in private at all. Realization struck him like lightning. Draco was just as alone as he was. He did have parents, but his mother would never stand up against her husband, and his father was a mentally damaged man that believed in everything the Dark Lord said. The young Gryffindor realized that Lucius Malfoy would probably kill his own son if Voldemort ever ordered him to do so.

Draco stared at Harry, wanting to see his reaction on the things he had just said. He could see the expression on the face of the Boy-Who-Lived change from confusion to sceptic to shock and then to something Draco could not quite place. He figured it had to be something like care or worry or something.

Harry, without realizing it himself, suddenly stepped closer to Draco. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm sorry for my hateful remarks in the past, I'm sorry for everything I ever said or did to you Malfoy ... "

The blonde frowned and he opened his mouth to say something but seemed to change his mind. He thought over what he had wanted to say and contemplated on it before sighing. He had nothing to lose now so he could just as well say it. "The Gryffindor Golden Boy saying that he's sorry to me, a Slytherin? Your Housemates would not like that very much Potter."

Harry shrugged and looked at Draco again, this time he tried to take in details, to see things that he hadn't seen before. Even though he had no idea where it came from he was certain that the real Draco Malfoy was different from the one they had seen all these years.

This alarmed Draco slightly, he let Harry's eyes slide over him and didn't remark on it though it made him feel uneasy. When Harry had stopped gazing at him and finally took a step back Draco finally let out a breath of which he had not known that he had been holding it.

Harry had seen the uncertain and uneasy look in the other's eyes and smiled slightly. "You're not as cold as you pretend to be, are you?"

Draco blinked. "What?" It took a moment to sink in and the moment he did he seemed to tense up again. "Listen Potter, you don't know me ... "

"Maybe I want to know you, the real you that is ... not the guy that I rejected all those years ago ... "

The Slytherin stared at his feet for a while. "Why would you bother to do that Potter? Why would the Chosen One bother to get involved with the pawn that is only to be used by the side it plays on?"

A pawn ... Draco considered himself a worthless pawn? "You're not a pawn Malfoy, I think you can achieve a lot if you just try hard enough."

Draco's eyes lifted up to meet the green eyes of Harry and he shook his head. "I can't, I have no choices ... Not about my education, not about my future life, not about my loyalties ... It's all my father's call."

"I'm sure there's something you can do, something you can choose."

The grey eyes kept looking straight into Harry's, he opened his mouth a few times but then closed it again and eventually he cast his eyes down.

Harry sighed and bit his lip. Great, instead of making the other feel better he had only made it worse. Harry had always thought that Draco had some sort of blazing self-esteem that together with his obvious vanity was the reason for his obnoxious behaviour. But he could not have been more wrong. It seemed that Draco; the vain and arrogant Slytherin had been replaced by a weaker and much more vulnerable version of him. The same looks, the same voice but the inside had changed completely. Harry found himself wondering what this Draco would be like if he had friends that truly cared about him. He felt a slight pang of guilt but shook it off and looked at Draco again.

Draco hadn't moved. He still stood there, still and motionless, staring at the ground with a stoic look on his face. But Harry could still see the grey eyes. And those eyes showed the broken soul, he could see how desperate and hurt the other felt inside. It was clear to Harry that Draco hated being helpless but that he was in a situation in which nothing could help him, or at least that's what Draco believed.

All of a sudden, as if he had gotten the best idea ever, Harry smiled. He took a few steps closer to Draco and picked up the other's wand, holding it out to him. "I don't know if I can trust you but I am willing to give you a chance." His voice was soft, almost a whisper, but it was enough to make the stoic wizard smile. A smile that reached the blonde's eyes for a moment before those stormy grey eyes were once more clouded by the negativity that was stocked up inside him.

Draco was happy that Harry had said that, he really was, but the darker thoughts were stronger. He bit his lip and slowly looked straight at him. "Thank you."

Harry looked at him and did not move away from him. "Draco, I want to give you a choice," he whispered, his voice trembling slightly, "I want to help you."

Draco shook his head. "Don't say that Harry, don't … " He bit his lip harder and looked away. He couldn't be helped, nobody could help him.

The young Gryffindor stared at the Slytherin for a few minutes before making a second decision that would change a lot. He took a deep breath. "Listen to me Draco Malfoy, you can make a choice, I will give you one and I expect you to make the right choice."

Draco blinked and looked at Harry with confusion written all over his face. "Harry, what are you saying?"

Harry sighed. What was he saying? He wondered about the same thing. "Draco, years ago, in our third year I had a dream about you … I pushed that dream back into my memories and refused to ever think of it again. But you leave me no choice but to act on that dream." He said softly.

Draco gave a hesitant nod. "Uhm and with that you mean?"

Harry laughed for a moment before closing the distance between them more and taking the other's face between his hands and pressing their lips together in a gentle and caring kiss.

Draco Malfoy's eyes grew big and at first he wanted to just push Harry away. But just a second later he had changed his mind already, this just felt so nice … His eyes fluttered closed and he hesitantly reached a hand up to touch Harry's hand.

Harry smiled slightly when he felt Draco's hand on top of his own and slowly broke the kiss to look at the other. The blonde still had his eyes closed and his cheeks were slightly pink from blushing. "Make the right choice on this Draco … "

Draco slowly opened his eyes and frowned. "Make the right choice? But …"

The Gryffindor shook his head. "I need you to make the right choice Draco, and don't you dare telling me that you don't have one after what I just did."

Draco blushed again and cast his eyes down. "Harry, I … I have been raised to be a Death Eater, I was marked as one, I cannot just turn my back on all that."

Harry sighed and took another step back. "That's the wrong choice." His voice sounded hurt.

Draco gazed at Harry with panic in his eyes. "Harry! No, don't go!" He bit his lip when he saw the other turn around, ready to leave. "Don't go Harry, I …" He could remember something that had been burried deep inside his mind for years. A memory that made him realize that he had liked Harry from the very start they had met. All those years ago Draco had pushed it so far away that he had forgotten all about it. He had been acting like a spoiled brat near the other just to get his attention, just to be noticed, all those years of teasing just to be noticed. He realized very well that he was remembering this now because he had to, because it was important. Harry was making him remember things of which Harry had never knewn the existance.

Draco was conflicted on the inside, his newly regained memories of liking Harry to the core were so different from the hate and annoyance he had felt all those years. But he had made his choice. He took a deep breath and walked over to the Gryffindor, taking his hand and making him turn around before quickly pushing their lips together. Even though the kiss lasted only just a few seconds it had made Draco blush again and the blonde looked away when he pulled back. He knew that he had only made this choice because Harry had made him. And he was grateful, Harry making him choose had made him remember what he had forgotten. "I made my choice." He whispered.

Harry's green eyes didn't leave the pale face of the other wizard as a small smile slipped across his lips. "You made the right choice Draco. I'll help you …" He held out his hand to the other and his heart skipped a beat when he felt the warm hand of Draco take hold of his own.

oOo

oOo

Draco sighed softly and got a bit closer to Harry. He pressed his cheek against the warm skin of Harry's chest and smiled. He had never thought he would ever feel this good, this blessed. Harry's arms were around him, strong and calming.

Harry smiled when he felt Draco get closer to him. He stroked the other's arm with a caring gesture before closing his eyes in pure bliss. "I love you …"

Draco blushed slightly. "I love you too Harry. We're the best choice I ever made …"

Harry reached out to the blankets and pulled them over Draco and himself, they would spend the entire night together.

From now on their lives would be different; this was their moment. It would be their secret until the war was over.

This was their secret, their sweet, blissful sin.

**End**

**Note: I was bored one of the past days and I got three keywords from my classmate Sharon Lovegood. This is the result of it, I am quite happy with this. **

**Edited: 12/05/2011 [added oOo to point out the change of scenery/ to skip + added a part to clear out some things around Draco's choice since I had forgotten all about that.]**

**Please review.**


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